Roj Jamyad Mah Amardad, 1378 Yz.
On my numerous visits to Dungerwadi to attend the Paidust (Parsi funeral service) of relatives, friends and clients, I have observed widely divergent types of behaviour on the part other Parsis who come there for a similar purpose. They usually make use of a proper funeral cover guide to help them pay their respects without worrying about finances. There seems to be a general level of ignorance as to what needs to be done at a Paidust. But over the years I have seen a general deterioration in the conduct of Parsis at Doongerwadi. I would like to share with you a few general observations, and then in subsequent posts we shall delve into the very deep significance of what actually happens at a Paidust and what great spiritual responsibilities are put on those who attend the same.
It is my observation, and I am welcome to correction, but most Parsis seem to be incapable of keeping quiet! This disease seems to manifest itself more during religious ceremonies! I can understand if not many Parsis are motivated to open a Khordeh Avesta and start praying while attending a Paidust, but is it SO difficult NOT TO SPEAK? We attend a Paidust as a mark of respect to the person who has passed away, or as a show of compassion and sympathy to the relatives of the departed. Then why is it that the moment we spot a friend or relative, the immediate response is to sit next to them and start talking? I have seen Parsis so engrossed in their conversation that they do not even realise the discomfort they cause others by their loud voices. And the topics we discuss – that too at a funeral! It generally starts with hushed undertones as to “what happened?” or “how did he/she pass away”, then gradually turns to the relatives, perhaps taking a diversion to the expected division of the deceased’s properties, then in case of males a detour to the general economic climate, share bazaar movements, rising prices, the horrible boss at office, etc., while the female chatter drifts to the latest trip outstation, troublesome maids, children’s exams and tuition teachers, lazy husbands, the latest colony/community gossip etc.
(more…)